Just when you think your little tide might be turning and all is gonna settle, the adversary says, “not so fast. Let me see how I can steal a little more.”

Trying hard to trust and to believe the best of folks, you know there’s always a chance of heartbreak. You never open your heart by my stage of life without that inner knowing, but you open it anyway. Why? Because we are commanded to love. and when Christ indwells a heart, love is what the heart does…

Wisdom literally beckons to human kind. Here in America, though far from a perfect place, we have ample access to God’s Word and most have encountered a true follower of Jesus who offered help to the hurting and His Words of life for the seeking. Problem is, though many don’t say it openly, you cannot serve two masters; “you’ll love the one and hate the other.” The old human flesh likes having its own way. It wants to figure out how to circumvent the necessary surrender; how to get God’s favor while also indulging the flesh. I think it is high time humanity as a whole humbles down and admits we are all slaves to something or someone; slaves to sin or slaves to Christ. The good news is that being a slave to Christ means simply you are saved from all that harms; freed from sin (the only thing that ever really leads to harm.) You can have life and peace but it will cost you dabbling in darkness. The same mouth can’t render praises to God and also enjoy the perversion of music and song that dishonors all that is holy without cost. It does not work that way. God is not mocked. What we sow, we reap. 

I’m trying to wrap my mind and heart around one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. I’m trying to do it with a teachable spirit holding firmly to The Good Lord and relying on His strength because this latest development has knocked the wind right out of me; a swift kick to the gut this is, but as I just said to Erick, “seems most of the grief I’ve carried in this life has been the kind you just have to bear alone, away from a supportive, understanding crowd. It’s always far too complicated and private for all of that.” I don’t know why, but I know it’s so…

This whole faith journey is an uphill climb. I’m learning that surrendering to God’s will means having only the expectation that the surrender itself is honorable and any outcome beyond that is out of your hands. He opens doors and bids you walk through. What’s on the other side of the door is only revealed later, and even then, we see only in part; God alone knows the end from the beginning, what kind of ground the seeds He gave you to sow fell on. Eternity will reveal that. We just stay the course of surrender and the road will lead wherever it leads…

Love is sacrifice. Love is often painful. Love is not selfish and doesn’t insist on its own way. Love does not manipulate or deceive. Love hopes. Love does not demand. Real love, it does no harm…I’m reminded of gifts of grief’s long journey; depth and strength found in the encircling arms of Christ who hears the groans of the heart for which no words can convey. He holds me now, and I rest in His promises of the glory that is to be revealed at His coming. This life a vapor. Eternity is forever.