Wise Words from A Son of Divorce

Both of Erick’s parents were married and divorced from multiple partners. When he and I married, he was marrying for the first time at age 30. He asked that I never mention the possibility of divorce. I so wish I could say I honored that, but being my old sinful self, lacking in deeply needed control at the ripe old age of 25 when our journey together began, I admit I have mentioned the words he most hoped to never hear again. Of course I readily apologized after anger ceased on the few occasions that I rose up in hostility and hurled hurt at one so kind and true with regret I still carry upon every remembrance…

I hope it’s clear to all who read my posts, both facebook and blog, that this is not about me. If, with my failures and the grace that relieves me and continues to guide me toward Christ’s ways and away from my sinful inclinations, can spare someone else from making the same errors, then so be it that my sin be laid bare. It’s no secret, my failures are grave and many.

Thankfully, though, I’ve learned some things worth sharing. I’ve learned there are things Christian folks should never utter. We shouldn’t invite, encourage, or even joke about breaking fellowship. It’s not okay, especially when children are listening. Inviting others to depart sheds light on lack of love and care. It’s that simple; when it was me saying what my dear husband asked me not to ever say and it’s that simple when anyone else says it.

I’ve grieved this past year and continue to as I see and hear of divisions deepening and widening as a result of love being secondary to other agendas. Scripture could not be more clear than what it is about love among Christ followers.

Churches and schools that bear the name of Christ carry a heavy responsibility, unparalleled by any other entity. I cringe to think of the devastation that is done to young minds and hearts when the message of love is compromised. Again, my own life bears this weight of guilt in the past and I never want to add to it by what I do and say now. I know better. For all of us who do, now is time to speak up, stand up, and call on others to minister grace and heal instead of inflict wounds. Our words matter.

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