reflections on a year…

I so often think of the body and how much of its wounding and healing teach us much about emotions, hearts, and minds.

This past year, our family has faced things we would never have chosen, and though giving thanks and praise for God’s amazing provisions through it all, I acknowledge we bear wounds that remain open, unhealed.

As we draw closer together in a circle of love and continual prayers, my eyes are open to the effects each of us carry.

I’m Mom to two, and Granny to one, still Wife to my faithful, strong, husband, each changed by the stormy months we’ve just weathered.

I guess for me the two effects most strongly manifest are fatigue and raw feelings. Just as a wound that cuts through flesh exposes nerves to what normally would not be felt, the hurt of the past year has left my already fairly soft heart exposed more fully to offense.

Thankfully, I see God’s Hand at work. Though raw in feeling, I’m not hostile or angry, just sorrowful over loss, damage, and waste. I see how the most precious gifts are often devalued and opportunities squandered to the detriment of whole families. How sad…and needless.

I think of the cost in human suffering and all I am able to do is shake my head and sigh. Children confused by what overwhelms their capacity to comprehend; fear, even in the home, of disruption at the least, and of devastation at the worst, has absorbed many childhood days for two little ones so very precious to me.

I’m looking for the gifts from this time and they exist. These crises have called on me to name what matters most, to be still and go deep in my faith, to question hard and listen well, to speak truth in love because it matters. Oh how it matters!

I’ve learned to be careful about what I believe because that is what I will teach, and I am accountable for that.

There is nothing more important than truth and love. The two are joined, inseparable, and are to be defended.

Jesus taught love with words and deeds. He gave grace to the outcasts and called sinners out of debasing sin into life and peace. We, as His followers, are called to be kind and gracious, loving peacemakers. We are to be marked by love for one another. Are we? These thoughts, good thoughts, dominate in my mind as I rise each day with healing for all as the goal.

I’ve looked at family and what it was designed to be, and how well-being is to be preserved in and through it. To have healthy families, love must rule, honor and dignity must be preserved, and commitment cannot waver.

If I wrote with pen to paper every day for a year, there is no way I could recount the journey. The days were long, the nights longer. I anchor my trust in Romans 8:28 as I look on my family knowing The Lord is able and wills to use all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I pray what we’ve endured will purify our hearts, determine our minds, and strengthen our will as a family to live out truth in love as a testimony of the grace that sustains through all trials.

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