I’ve had lots of thoughts in recent days. Many I’ve carried to the cross knowing they needed to be changed so that I could bow unashamedly before The Lord seeking His strength to bear what is too heavy for these slight shoulders. I’ve felt all manner of feelings ranging from deep, penetrating sorrow, to intense anger, and then trembling anxiety. All of these over the course of a day drain me of energy, energy needed to offer the great amount of love and comfort that is needed by one very young and small.
Always trying to stay in God’s will calls upon me to “take every thought captive in obedience to Christ” and to this call I am trying to be true. I am reminded of Jesus in the temple, even our perfect Lord became angry but He did not sin. That is our charge as true followers. On Him for this strength I am leaning.
Scriptures quietly soothe me in the night and throughout the long days. A little while ago I recalled “Defender of the weak” as one of the characteristics of The Lord. Indeed He is The Great Defender of the weak. I’ve felt weak for most of my life and in many ways I could be the poster child for the adjective, but again, scripture tells me and my life is proof that The Lord’s strength is made perfect in weakness. What does that mean? Many things. One thing it means is that when I reach the end of myself and my strength is fully gone, He carries me, He directs me, He rules and He reigns and all I have to do is trust. That is where I am today. I am trusting in a strength far greater than my own. I take great comfort in knowing that I stand at the center of His will honoring His command to love my husband and to love my children. I am far from a perfect person, but I am faithful to love those entrusted to my care. Love never comes without cost. Everything, even faith, in this life is put to the test. Only in His strength are we able to stand firm against the evil that abounds in the hearts and minds of those who refuse to seek Him.
Back to my title here…it truly is adding insult to injury when I see and hear those who stand in stark opposition to the will and Word of God invoking His Name right alongside their profane and vulgar words and lives. How sad, how deeply, deeply sad and how great is the darkness that swallows them. My silent and simple yet all consuming prayer is “Thy perfect will, Oh Lord, be done. Amen.”