No backing up…

I often find myself, head shaking, saying to others facing difficulties, “you just have to get through it.” Pretending that life is easy and simple does nothing to lighten the genuine difficulties and challenges we face in this fallen world. So many people, each flawed, many unwilling to pursue peace gives rise to strife and discord and from that flows all manner of ugliness. I am forever thinking as I look on the chaos, “these things ought not so to be…” yet they are and we are called upon to struggle through it with grace.

I see the difference between individuals who have conscience, who operate in truth, who seek wisdom, and who value integrity being caught up in strife with those who don’t. This is an age old battle that continues to rage. When truth is not given the highest regard by either party, there is no place for resolve. Scripture warns against being unequally yoked. The question is posed, “what does light have to do with darkness?” We see that a house divided against itself cannot stand. We hear the call to grace, to love, to forgiveness alongside warnings against being deceived by evildoers. “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves” is advised.

For lack of a better way to say it due to extreme depletion in energy and tact, I find myself in a real pickle. Sometimes life is just plain hard. I have learned to never suppose that there is anything that I won’t personally face because what one is susceptible to so is another. I’m no better than the next fellow to suffer heartache and loss, confusion and turmoil, but I do feel it is incumbent upon me to suffer as gracefully as possible, not to forget to Whom I belong and to Whom my FIRST allegiance is pledged.

Love and grace…two beautiful depictions of the character of Christ. May I exude these faithfully and when I fail may forgiveness humble me into obedience and submission. My heart is hurting deeply, plain and simple. We’ve been in a tumultuous sea for several years with only brief times of respite only to find the winds of storms tossing us yet again. Erick and I are battle scarred. We’ve seen heartache before, but doggone it, when little children are involved the pain gets overwhelming.

Yesterday, In the midst of a tense evening, my kind and gentle man came alongside me and with no words gave my shoulder a firm but gentle squeeze. Nearly 19 years into this marriage I’ve learned his language, very different from mine, but every bit as clear and direct. His message to me…”I’m here and we’ll make it, together.” God bless Him.

I find gratitude today for the peace that reigns in this place. Though we have this burden, we also have an anchor that never moves. His Name is Jesus. Though we struggle, falter, and fail, He doesn’t.

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