A Mother’s Heart

Searching my heart and mind today for words of scripture to speak to me, to minister the grace I need. I cannot give what I don’t first have so I am forever running to His throne to be filled up so that I might then be poured out. Realizing always again and again that in my flesh dwells no good thing but from His Spirit I find nourishment for my own soul and to share with those around me.

Patience has been on my mind much lately as I recognize the need for it in my daily walk. It is one of the fruits of the Spirit, one without which we falter and grow weary far too quickly to do anyone much good. Paul’s words from Hebrews 12 came to me this evening while here at home. “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.” (1-3)

I have endured nothing of consequence in comparison to what Jesus our Lord endured. Just attempting to bear in my Spirit the weight of others’ sorrows proves difficult for me, yet I recognize my Lord bore in His body the sins of the whole world. My mind cannot even begin to imagine what that must have been like, yet He endured, out of great, unfathomable love. He suffered so that we might attain unto righteousness, even the very righteousness of God. And even glimpsing this truth, I still fail Him. I still falter and complain. I still, have moments of questioning concerning my own trials, “why Lord?” And then I’m brought back to the truth of the cross, the victory that has already been won, the victory that I will celebrate upon His glorious return. The promise, “sorrow may endure for the night, but joy will come in the morning” must be my strength in times such as these.

Until then, I am to “…let patience have her perfect work, that I may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” (James 1:4) I am to ask for wisdom from God who gives to all liberally, (James 1:5) and I am to “wait patiently upon the Lord” knowing that “though I am bowed down, in due time He will lift me up.”

What a journey this life has been… What learning of Him has wrought in me…How changed I am ever becoming even as I walk through dark valleys and ascend back into the sunlight on the hilltops. We all have our battles, face our own giants, and make legacies to be handed down to the ones who come along behind us. May I leave a well-worn path of prayer for my children to walk upon. May they find Jesus as the most precious treasure in the purest and deepest parts of their hearts. May I leave this world one day knowing the lives of those I loved the most counted for the cause of Christ…My heart’s deepest desire and most sure longing, may it be so Lord, make it to be so!

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