Words…and thoughts of my husband this morning

So much has whirled through my mind since I last had the chance to sit at the computer and weave them together in meaningful form. Seems as Christmas approaches, as is often the case with me, I am intensely aware of the sufferings and the joys of others. Being in the hospital with family this season has only added to my pondering. So much hope, relief, anguish, and uncertainty can be sensed when walking down one long hallway on a cardiac floor in a hospital. Most families waiting for word on their loved ones experience all of this and more…

I often think about Jesus being the Word made flesh. It comes back to mind over and over again as I picture God’s plan to put to flesh His own essence, and have HIs Word lived out before the eyes of humanity. Words are a big deal, all of our words matter and have consequence, carry weight, even power to do good or harm. I think of how empty words lead to disappointment and fulfilled words bring joy. Jesus was and is the fulfilled Word, the proven Word, the unfailing Word…how I love to linger in this understanding. Not one Word spoken by Jesus was untrue, incomplete, or left undone. He was fully true to His Word.

Many of us, well…all of us, fail to consistently live up to who we say we are, to what we say we will do. We fall short, many times not of our own choice, many for that exact reason. Yet Jesus, the Word made flesh, never failed and He never will. How precious and measureless is this truth to my heart. When all of this life ceases for me, I will be embraced by the Word made flesh that will never fail.

I think of the heartache of those who have been deeply wounded by the unfulfilled words of others. How deep is the hurt and lingering the pain of it, especially when it’s too close to home…family, yet hope remains as long as there is breath. Reconciliation is possible because of love and forgiveness.

My dear husband has suffered so much for so long with heartaches he seldom shares in words, but the sadness in his countenance speaks as loud and true as any voiced words ever spoken. So wanting to help him and not knowing how to fill the void, I look back to God’s Word for understanding and wisdom.

This morning I came across Malachi 2:17, “you have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, wherein have we wearied him?” Our disappointments are surely ones the Lord Himself continually sees and He understands our hurts far more completely than we, ourselves, do. Reading further I found, “…they that feared (revered) The Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written…for them that feared [Him], and that thought upon His Name. And they shall be Mine, says the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spares his own son that serves him.” (Malachi 4:16-17) I give a long, deep sigh and take in a fresh breath of hope as my eyes fall upon the promises in God’s Book. He hears, He acknowledges, and He blesses those who long for and love Him. Not anything goes unnoticed by the all-seeing eyes of our God.

I’ve seen Erick, over the course of 17 years, grow and change. I’ve seen him deepen and mature. I’ve seen him endure. Our years together have not been without struggles and hardships, but with them we’ve walked together, hand in hand, holding tightly to what we know is a gift to be cherished. We’ve seen each other’s falling tears, and one heart has borne the burdens of the other. Through it all, we’ve loved…

Recently I’ve seen him serve our family sacrificially and without complaint. When I think of Erick I think, “long-suffering.” When I’ve wavered over decisions we’ve made he has reassured me time and again with these words, “we did what we thought was the right thing to do so, no, I don’t regret it.” Erick is a man of few words, but what he says he will do, he does.

I’ve seen Erick up late on cold nights after working all day long with his toboggan on bent over the motor of Heather’s car working hard to repair it so she could drive herself to school the following morning. He served without complaint, ALWAYS without complaint.

I’ve received many a pat on the back from Erick as I heard his words, “it will be okay Chickabee (the name he gave me years ago), it will all be okay,” more times than I can count. Every single time he has done this it has strengthened my resolve to continue to trust and to hope…

I once wrote him a letter sharing with him how I see the two of us. I love waterfalls and we’ve spent some special times admiring different ones over the years. When I look at those magnificent sights, I think how the huge rocks are fixed, unmoving, providing the necessary solid foundation for the fast moving water to continually spill over, splashing and glistening freely in the light. The water and the stone…Erick is surely the rock and I am the water…it takes the two together for the life in either to be fully expressed.

I love my man this morning and am so thankful that we’ve endured the hard times and enjoyed the good ones together. The joy of Noah and Riley after all of Erick’s waiting years has been a gift and blessing beyond either of our imaginings. I pray I can be the wife Erick needs for me to be, to continue to soothe his hurts and smooth out the rough places along life’s journey for him. How precious he has been to me, a quiet and continuous encourager throughout every challenge and storm. I want to be one whose words are a healing balm and my presence a safe haven of rest for him and others…may I be more like Jesus, true to my words, faithful at all times, and in all things.

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