The will to trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts, to lean not on our own understanding. In all our ways, to acknowledge Him, and He will direct our paths. This is one of the biggest challenges for me. Not because I don’t know He is able, but because my heart is so weak and tender toward those I love, toward the hurting, and I am so bound to this earthly flesh and it’s ways that when I see hurting I want to put my hands right on it and fix it. Oh, if I could just make the hurts go away, shield and protect from harm, from pain, from sin and from sadness, from weakness and from failure, surely I would, but that is not what I can do nor is it what I’m commanded to do. Instead I am told to trust; to trust in the Lord, not to lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in all circumstances and to know by faith that He indeed will direct my path and the paths of those I love.

I see the salvation of the Lord from time to time and I am strengthened, heartened, and for just a while there even seems to be a boldness to my step, a confidence that makes breathing seem so easy, and then troubles encroach again and I falter. The old weakness and tendency to fall back into worry reemerges with renewed intensity making the days seem harder, the nights longer, and the darkness thicker. I have to remind myself again and again of the victories that have already been won and of the promises the Lord has made, His faithfulness, His love, and His assurances.

I often think of my journey in this world, colored with every shade from dark to light and how that is true for most of us. So much we choose, so much we don’t, and regardless we are challenged to trust. I face each day with a smile and prayer and commit to love those around me intensely and without fail. These are things I can choose. Troubles may and will come my way as every life is touched by them, but I can know who I will be as I face them and more importantly to Whose Hand I will hold.

Trust is a choice as is forgiveness and love. Though my nature pulls me in the opposite way, I will choose to lean not on my own understanding and will place all my hope and trust in the Lord for surely He is my strength, my shield, and my redeemer, the lover of my soul. Such wisdom filled counsel we find in God’s Word and peace beyond understanding when we are able to trust in Him.

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